what am i doing awake?

for the longest time i've heard about blogs and i still don't know exactly what they are. i remember just before the elections, i came across some blogs from people in the news who commented on the presidential debates as they occurred or simply shared their political standpoint with the rest of the world. i probably don't have super profound things to say and i don't know why i would want to write a public journal. usually i write my thoughts on my own notebook that i try to keep to myself. not that I have many secrets written down... and most of the things i write down are rather boring -- except my poems, sometimes i like my poems. but i like to remember those things that i say i want to keep to myself. however, i once wrote that nobody writes for themselves. everybody wants to share their secrets.

so here i am, sharing mine. i just felt the need to modernize. a paper journal? so old-fashioned. the internet is the thing.

perhaps this is not the moment. i've been feeling lately this urge to write that i just cannot satisfy due to my 24/7 concern about comps. never before had i made such good friends in such a short period, and for months i've been meaning to write that down. i wanted to put down in words the highs and lows i've been through since the beginning of the program and i never found the time to do it. last week i saw hotel rwanda, and on the way back home on the bus i had this meaningful discussion with reenini about the movie that triggered a thousand thoughts in my head on the many issues that the film touches... but i decided that i didn't have time to record my feelings. but why am i surprised, if i haven't even finished my china travel log?

and now i ask myself what am i doing awake at 3.50am when i need to wake up early tomorrow morning and study for the upcoming exams, for which i feel -- as always -- that i haven't done much? i said to ach that i would go to bed by 1am. and what am i doing? writing nonsense while i struggle to warm up my feet -- why don't i just go to bed? at least i had a good conversation with the rumi. it was good. i should hang out more with the bastard.

now off to bed. can't wait to see those lofts on monday. but before that, coldstone... aaaaah!! what ever happened to my promise to hit the 70-something kilo mark?

gone...